The mixed identity experience
Korean-American in the Bay Area is its own specific identity. You are not Korean in Korea (relatives notice). You are not generic Asian-American (you are specifically Korean). You are not white American (the heritage is real). You are in a third position the language has not quite named.
Most second- and third-generation Korean-Americans recognize this from childhood without ever quite articulating it. They live it.
What being “between” looks like
Speaking Korean at home and English everywhere else. Eating Korean food on Sundays and American food on weekdays. Going to Korean church Saturday morning and high school football Friday night. Bowing to grandparents and high-fiving friends. Calling parents eomma and appa but the dog “buddy.”
These are not contradictions to a Korean-American. They are the texture of the life.
The questions that come up
Most Korean-Americans face the same questions at some point. How Korean am I really? Should I have learned more of the language? Did my parents preserve enough? Did they preserve too much? Am I more Korean than my younger cousin who lives in LA? Less Korean than my friend who moved back to Seoul?
There are no clean answers. Different families land in different places. Most Korean-Americans, talking to each other, recognize the landscape immediately.
How Bay Area Korean-Americans navigate it
Some lean toward the Korean side: Korean church on Sundays, Korean media at home, Korean food daily, Korean language with the kids. Some lean American: mostly English at home, mostly American food, occasional Korean cultural participation through grandparents. Most are somewhere in between, and the balance shifts across decades.
Bay Area Korean-Americans tend to be slightly more “between” than LA Korean-Americans (who have a stronger Koreatown infrastructure) and significantly more “between” than mid-American Korean-Americans (who often had to make Korean culture more deliberate).
Hanbok as one part of the balance
Wearing hanbok is one of the most visible Korean-American identity statements available. It shows up at the moments that matter: a child’s dol, a wedding, a Chuseok photograph, a milestone birthday. It says “we are still Korean” without requiring a speech.
Many of Eric’s Korean-American customers describe their first hanbok commission as a kind of identity decision they did not realize they were making. See hanbok for Korean-American women.
Eric’s story
Eric grew up in San Mateo with a Korean mother who carried her language, her food, and her sense of tradition across the Pacific. He grew up bilingual but more comfortable in English. He went to Korean school on Saturday mornings and grumbled about it. He understood maybe half of what his grandmother said on the phone.
He started The Korean In Me in adulthood, partly to honor his mother (Mrs. Lee Youngsook, the cooking authority behind Mrs. Lee’s page), partly to give other Korean-American families the atelier-level hanbok service Korean families have in Seoul. The studio is his answer to the “how Korean am I?” question. The answer is: this Korean.
If you are figuring out your own balance
There is no wrong place to land. Korean-Americans who feel mostly American and Korean-Americans who feel mostly Korean are both real. Korean-Americans who do not know yet are also real.
Hanbok is a small but meaningful way to mark a position. Reach out if you are thinking about your first piece.
Talk to Eric
Looking for hanbok as part of your Korean-American identity? Eric at The Korean In Me sources authentic hanbok personally from Seoul, inspects every piece in San Mateo, and works with each customer on sizing and color. Contact Eric to inquire →