Korean weddings have a particular shape. The main ceremony often looks Western, white dress, tuxedo, vows in front of the family. Then a smaller traditional ceremony called paebaek follows, where the couple changes into hanbok and bows to the elders. As a guest, you are likely to attend one or both. Knowing the difference is most of the job.
The general dress code
Korean wedding guests dress more conservatively than American wedding guests. Cocktail attire is the default. Knee-length dresses, blazers, well-fitted trousers, closed-toe shoes. Avoid all white, ivory, or off-white, those are reserved for the bride. Bright red is also discouraged because red is traditionally associated with the bride in older customs.
Black is acceptable in modern Korean weddings, even though older generations may still see it as a funeral color. If the wedding is more traditional, soft neutrals are safer, beige, taupe, dove grey, dusty pink, sage.
If hanbok is the dress code
Some Korean families request that close relatives or wedding party members wear hanbok. If you are unsure whether the invitation expects hanbok, ask the host directly. It is a normal question.
Guest hanbok should not compete with the bride or the immediate family. Choose softer palette, sage, dusty lavender, ivory with a colored chima, or a calm two-tone set. Skip heavy gold embroidery and large hairpieces. A simple norigae and a small clutch is enough.
If you are a non-Korean guest invited to wear hanbok, it is welcomed, not awkward. Korean families are usually delighted that you took the time. Eric can guide you through what is appropriate for the family hosting the wedding. Reach out a few weeks ahead so we have time to source the right piece.
What to bring
Bring a white envelope with cash for the gift, called chukuigeum. The amount depends on your relationship to the couple. Friends usually give $50 to $100, closer relatives $100 to $300. The envelope is handed to the gift attendant at the reception entrance, not to the couple directly.
Skip a registry-style boxed gift unless you are family. Cash in a clean white envelope with your name written on the front is the standard.
The paebaek ceremony
If you are invited to the paebaek, expect a small private ceremony after the main reception. The couple wears wedding hanbok, often a wonsam for the bride and a danryeongpo for the groom. Guests sit on cushions around a low table.
You will likely watch the couple bow to the elders, share rice wine, and play the chestnut-throwing game where the elders toss dates and chestnuts into the bride's apron. The number caught is said to predict the number of children. It is a warm, often funny moment. Stay quiet, smile, take photos only if invited.
One quiet rule
Korean wedding etiquette rewards restraint. Dress slightly more formally than you think. Take fewer photos than you want. Eat the food. Bow when the elders bow. You will fit in.
If you are looking for hanbok for a wedding you are attending, see Eric's wedding hanbok collection or sizing guide.
Talk to Eric
Looking for authentic hanbok for your occasion? Eric at The Korean In Me works personally with each customer, sources every piece from Seoul, and inspects it in San Mateo before it ships. Send Eric a message or text (707) 718-3579.